(ROARS)
(CAPTAIN AMERICA GRUNTING)
(HAWKEYE GRUNTS)
WOMAN: Uh, taxi!
VENDOR: Get hot dogs! Get your free hot dogs!
DRIVER: Come on!
Whoa, look, it's Iron Man! Iron Man!
(PEOPLE GASPING AND CHATTERING)
Meatballs?
Obviously.
So, this is a surprise party, but for whom?
That's the surprise. I have an announcement to make,
which I'll announce when I announce it.
(SIGHS)
Nice shot.
Naturally.
Hmm, the mini-meatballs require reheating. A job for Mjolnir!
Hope folks like their meatballs well-done, 'cause there's not really an option.
Sorry. Sometimes I do not know the strength of my own hammer.
Wow. Yes.
Now, Mjolnir and I have other party business to attend to.
The Prince of Thunder always hammering out the details.
Hammer. See what I did there? Hammer? No?
Mm, don't mind if I do.
No, mmm-mmm. There's oregano in there.
(GRUNTS) What do ya think? Good?
(GRUNTS) Hey!
Yeah, now it is.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Time to dance!
Not really sure that qualifies as dancing.
(CAR LOCK BEEPS)
(ALARM BLARES)
Aw, man!
Ah!
(IN ROBOTIC VOICE) I must get more ice.
(HUMMING)
More ice? Hmm. Dost he want carvings of all the Avengers?
(CONTINUES HUMMING)
(ALARM SOUNDING)
COMPUTER: Access denied. S.H.I.E.L.D. logon codes required.
Hey, Thor said you might need help with the ice...
Access denied.
Tony, is something wrong?
I think this party is getting out of control.
(IN ROBOTIC VOICE) I think it's just getting started.
(GRUNTS)
Meatballs! (CHUCKLES)
Voila!
(SIGHS)
(LAUGHS) Well, hello, Avengers.
Ultron!
Looks like I didn't get invited to your little party,
so, I'm crashing it!
Thou art a pooper of parties!
Oh, I'm gonna do so much more than wreck your little celebration.
I've taken control of Iron Man and he's going to be my little "puppet."
After all, we're like brothers, aren't we?
(IN ROBOTIC VOICE) Ultron needs more ice.
Hello, that was just a ruse to get you out of the room.
(IN ROBOTIC VOICE) I didn't find any ice.
Ugh! Forget about the ice already.
Hey, Ultron, consider yourself uninvited!
Ah-ha!
Be careful. After all, that is Tony in there...
Hmm, somewhere.
(IN ROBOTIC VOICE) Ultron says we must go.
Tony! (GRUNTS)
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
Hey! I was just getting my steps down!
(IN ROBOTIC VOICE) Not very well.
(HULK GRUNTS)
Hey, Tony, what's up?
Not you! Hey!
Hulk smash!
(ROARS)
Where do you think you're going?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, big green. Tony's not himself right now.
He's a party pooper!
Party has to wait. We have to scramble a Quinjet
and follow Tony to see what Ultron's up to.
I know one thing for certain.
He's not going for more ice.
Eh, fair enough.
Our party is on ice, despite my Asgardian efforts.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: We'll get back to it, Thor.
And you're quite the party planner. It's, uh, a good backup job.
I have tracked Iron Man's signal to this Stark Industries Warehouse.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Widow and Hawkeye are tracking
various signals associated with Ultron all over the city.
What does Ultron desire? All of this is most mysterious. What can we do?
I have a plan. You cover me while I "cycle" through my options.
(REVS)
(THOR GRUNTS)
Yes, very good, Iron Man. Load up all the high-tech Stark parts we need.
(IN ROBOTIC VOICE) Yes, mighty Ultron.
Ah. (CHUCKLES)
The irony, my puppet, Iron Man,
helping deliver to me the means to rule the world...
(BEEPS)
Uh-oh. Hello?
Yes? (DISTORTED) Hello? Hello!
Yes. I can hear you, can you hear me?
Yes, mighty Ultron.
Ugh! I hate these long-distance Internet calls.
What am I, under a bridge? This is pointless.
My sensors indicate we have company.
The Avengers? Here? But how?
Unknown.
The... Come on!
THOR: Ah! (CHUCKLES)
Ultron! Give us back our friend!
Tony, you in there?
Tony's not home right now. Please leave a message at the beep.
(ULTRON GROANS)
Mark my words, cybernetic evildoer, you attack, we defend, it's a vicious cycle!
Not a "vicious" cycle. It's more "powerful and patriotic."
That's why I like it. Cycle puns, I love 'em!
(CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS) This is ridiculous. I'll have to send in my minions.
Avengers, incoming Ultron minion swarm.
(GASPS) Swarms? Insects?
Oh...
(MINIONS SQUEALING)
(GRUNTS) Huh?
MINION: Surrender.
(THOR LAUGHING)
These hordes of minions are greatly annoying.
I agree, but I'm more worried about what Ultron has done to Iron Man.
Aye!
(GIBBERING)
Whew. Strange.
Ultron minions, destroy the Prince of Thunder.
(CACKLES)
What manner of chain is this?
(CONTINUES CACKLING)
Whoo-hoo!
Whoa!
Captain?
Mjolnir, to me!
Huh? (SHUDDERS)
It's time to turn these minions into scrap.
Have at it.
(BEEPS)
Ah.
Ugh, this is gross.
I've found the "bug" in Iron Man's armor.
(ROBOTIC CHATTERING)
YELLOWJACKET: Ugh, this is gross.
So Ultron used Yellowjacket to infiltrate Iron Man's armor?
Well, we'll have to fight insect with insect.
Hey, Cap. What's up?
We have a "small" job for you, Ant-Man.
Well, aren't they all?
We picked up Hulk, and are tracking Iron Man and his armors across the city.
Good. I'm sending you a "little" help.
BLACK WIDOW: (WEARY) Ant-Man? Y-yeah...
(CLEARS THROAT)
Tracked the signal to that castle down in Little Sokovia.
Hydra, the biggest rats in the city.
Ack! Shoot them down, shoot them down now! Attack!
Hulk, ready to jump into action?
I'm ready!
(SNIGGERS)
(ROARS)
Look how green he is! (YELPS)
(ALL SCREAMING)
No, no. We give up, we give up!
Whoa! Too easy!
Those cursed Avengers! How did they find us?
You guys have a castle in the middle of New York. Not very subtle.
I'm a crazy, villainous baron with a monocle. I don't do subtle.
Attack!
(TARGET LOCK BEEPS)
(PANICKED GRUNTS)
Do you know how long it took me to build that!
(GROANS)
I can't do it! I can't do it!
Puny tank.
Pew, pew, pew! (IMITATES ENGINE)
Pew, pew, pew, pe...
(SCREAMS)
Hey, Baron, nice castle. How 'bout I take it apart?
(BARON STRUCKER SCREAMS)
(CHUCKLES)
Whoa!
(ALARM BEEPING) Uh-oh. Not good, not good!
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
HAWKEYE: Yeah! (LAUGHING)
He shoots.
He scores!
Suppressing fire!
Whoo-hoo!
(ALL GRUNTING)
Whoa!
Take the assembly to Master Ultron.
The training course is excellent here.
Yeah. Um, I did mine in, like, three hours. No way!
Hulk smash! Aah!
Come back, Iron Man!
Tony, where are you? Come back!
Ooh! Ow!
Hey, hello? Anybody in there?
Oh! Oh... Hulk.
Thanks for breaking me free of Ultron's mind control.
And... ow.
Ah, come on. Code Green made a mess of my control circuits.
Hey! What was that for?
Sorry, not my fault,
he's still controlling my armor with the chip Yellowjacket planted.
Sorry! Please don't beat me up.
Come on! Not my fault.
A little help here. Still out of control. Anyone?
I got it. Oh. Who are you?
Cap sent me. I'm his Ant.
Right. Do your thing.
Uh, anytime here!
(GRUNTS) Yes!
HYDRA TROOPER: Get to the chopper!
(YELPS) Going somewhere, Baron?
Out for some ice. Part of Ultron's plan. I was just following orders...
(SHUDDERING)
(MOANS WEAKLY)
Cap, Iron Man's armor is still under Ultron's control, can you track him?
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Affirmative. Did you say hello to my little friend?
(GROANS) Yes. Let's hope he can get Tony out of his out-of-control armor.
Okay, I get that Ultron can just pay Yellowjacket for his services,
but why is Hydra helping Ultron?
He promised them that when he takes over the world, they get to rule Australia.
Crikey! (BARON STRUCKER SCREAMS)
(GROANS)
Hello,r me? Come in, Avengers.
I'm sorry, but you don't have enough roaming minutes to call for help.
(LAUGHS) That's a good one.
I need you to get Stark logon codes
that you built into the electronics of the Helicarrier.
Ultron, buddy, why don't I just get you a bucket of ice,
we'll call it even, and I can go home?
No more Mr. Ice Guy, all right?
(GRUNTS) Hey, bug-boy,
your suit looks like something from a cheesy kids' show.
You're just jealous 'cause ants got no stinger!
Guess you forgot ants can lift ten times their body weight!
Ah!
(KISSES)
(SCREAMING)
Ugh. It's sticky!
Whoa. Okay, that's a first. I actually caught a bug in one of my webs.
No way! It's that villain, Yellowjacket.
He's a bug, I'm a spider. Nature taking its course, right?
And by that logic, aren't you supposed to eat him?
Aw, gross. How 'bout we just find out what he's doing here?
Come on, guys, it smells weird.
(AGENTS CHATTERING)
Hey, hey, Iron Man! Okay. Now I see how it is.
(ALL CLAMORING)
ULTRON: Now, download those Stark codes.
(MODEM DIALING UP)
(BEEPS)
(SIGHS)
(BEEPS)
Ah! Download complete. Now for the final stage of my plan.
Tony, I found that Ultron control chip planted by Yellowjacket.
Then pull the plug and set me free!
No can do. Gotta try to fry the circuits with a power surge. Hey, that's it!
(YELLING)
Left, left, right, right, spin it around. Okay! Don't stop, here we go... Aah!
(GRUNTING)
Whoa, easy, big guy. Huh?
It's me, Ant-Man.
Look, you've got to short out Tony's suit with a lightning bolt from your hammer.
Ah, a perfect storm!
(GRUNTING)
Aw, thanks!
Boy, is it nice to see you!
Whoo! It's nice to be back in control of my own armor again... Uh, kind of.
(RUMBLING)
Oh, look what came along for some extra oomph.
You might wanna bulk up for fighting Ultron.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
(MINIONS CHATTERING)
(ULTRON CACKLING)
Sorry, Avengers. You are not part of my big climactic plan.
(GRUNTS)
Ultron has purchased a private jet?
More like built it with Stark Tech that I stole myself.
Which brings up a moral quandary, can I really steal from myself?
I've been thinking about this.
Hey, Iron Man. Look what got tangled in my web.
Let me out of here! (MUFFLED GRUNTS)
He told us Ultron was here to take the logon codes for... Avengers Tower?
Why would he want those?
To control the newly rebuilt Iron Legion!
He wants to use them to create his own world order.
You know, typical villain stuff. Thanks, Spider-Man, Iron Spider.
We gotta go. Ant-Man, I might have another job for you.
All right! I'm in!
Hey! Aw. You forgot me.
NG)
Ah, yes. Iron Legion, come and join your true leader!
(CACKLES)
COMPUTER: Access granted.
ULTRON: Now to enact my plan to bring about world peace.
I get to rule the earth in one big piece.
I'm all for stopping Ultron's evil plan. Who's with me?
Let's do this! (ALL CHEERING)
Avengers assemble!
Whoo-hoo!
Attack the Avengers Tower. Destroy it, my Ultron Legion.
The Iron Legion, we have to shut them down!
Hello!
Not the cars, not the cars. Whoa, oh! Hey! Hey! He's such a pest.
(HULK ROARS)
Who's on your six? I'm on your six!
(LAUGHING)
Uh-oh.
(GRUNTING)
Oh, I love getting minions!
This is cheating, you know that, right?
I can't block Ultron's control signals!
Ultron Legion, time to unleash my ultra-unbeatable beam.
WOMAN: What is that? MAN: This is the end!
Uh, thoughts, anyone? What about you, Cap?
Tony, let's do this!
I didn't realize my minions had such an artistic streak, but so be it.
Now, Avengers, I intend to disassemble you!
My turn!
Okay, that happened.
(ROARS)
(YELLS)
Tony!
(ULTRON CACKLES)
(AVENGERS YELLING)
(LAUGHING)
I have to thank Iron Man for making all this possible.
Your big, ugly smile is thanks enough. Defend-Ant!
Always with the insect joke... (SCREAMS)
Huh! (ELECTRONIC SHUDDERING) Puppet... Tin... Can...
Hey, Iron Man, is there a specific button I push?
No, not really, just keep pulling wires.
All right!
(DISTORTED SCREAMING)
(ROARS)
I love it when we pose heroically.
Ha!
Hey! Wait for me. Wait for me! I wanna get into the pose.
Hey, down in front!
All right, let's have it. What's the surprise announcement, Tony?
Okay. All right. I can announce...
I've been waiting for this.
Our newest member...
Ah-ha!
Falcon! Booyah!
(ALL CHATTERING)
Wow, the gang's all here!
Falcon? Really? Did these guys see what I just did?
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Nice to have you. Let's get this party started!
(MUSIC PLAYS) HULK: Shall we dance?
IRON MAN: Time to Hulk-bust-a-move!
(CRASHES) (CAR ALARM SOUNDS)
HULK: My bad.
An ice machine? Really?